


There is Always Orange Juice

by bessemerprocess



Series: Zennish [2]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Life
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-12-17
Updated: 2007-12-17
Packaged: 2017-10-04 13:14:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bessemerprocess/pseuds/bessemerprocess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>By the time they're done toasting Anya, Xander is smashed. Charlie is still sober six ginger ales and a bathroom break later.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There is Always Orange Juice

By the time they're done toasting Anya, Xander is smashed. Charlie is still sober six ginger ales and a bathroom break later.

So when Xander decides that he needs to go pass out back at his hotel room, Charlie offers to drive him. "Come on, you can't drive like this, and I promise you'll like the car," he says with a waggle of his eyebrows. It works on girls all the time, Xander just looks at him funny.

"Are you a demon?" he asks, titling his head to the side and squints as if it would allow him to see Charlie's horns or something.

This was not at all the question Charlie was expecting, "Demon?"

"Demon. Like, are you going to try and eat me or lay your eggs in me or use my blood to open a portal to hell?" asked Xander in a drunken, yet serious tone, still staring at Charlie's forehead.

He runs a hand through his red, red hair, "Are you seeing horns or antennae or anything else I should know about? I'm pretty certain that I'm human, but since I'm not really here, maybe I'm not."

"Nope, no horns, but your hair is really red, man," slurred Xander. "It's just that when girls pick me up in bars they're usually demons, except that biker chick back in Cleveland and she was way scarier than any demon."

"My only plan," says Charlie, "is to get you back to your hotel safely. I general don't eat people."

Xander nods, and follows Charlie out to the parking lot, weaving on the way. "You're right, that's a sweet car," says Xander as Charlie unlocks the doors.

He slides into the passenger seat and buckles in. By the time Charlie gets in, Xander is snoring softly.

"I guess tonight's hotel will be Casa del Crews," says Charlie to himself.

 

***

Xander wakes up and knows he's in trouble. Krilar demons have died in his mouth, his head is pounding and he is so not in a hotel. The room is too large, too bright, all sky blue paint and fluttery white curtains. Plus, the bed is actually comfortable.

He's alone and unrestrained, which in Xander's book is usually a good thing. There is even a glass of water and two ibuprofen on the nightstand and his clean clothes on the trunk at the end of the bed. Which is when he realizes he's in his boxers, "What exactly did you get up to last night, Xander?"

After a trip to the bathroom, he's clothed and ready to find out. The bedroom door opens onto an empty hallway and then to a stairway, so Xander wanders downstairs, wondering if anyone actually lives here, or if he's about to live through a horror story worthy of Stephen King.

The living room is empty; no people, no furniture and he starts to worry.

"Hey!" calls someone, and Xander tries not to jump out of his skin. "You want eggs?"

"What?" says Xander in a voice that's a little too high.

"I'm Ted," says the man, popping his head around the door frame, "Would you like some eggs?"

Xander joins Ted in the kitchen, which is almost as empty as the living room. "I'm Xander."

"Hi. There's orange juice in the fridge and glass up there," says Ted, pointing with his spatula. "Scrambled okay?"

"Sure," he answers, as he pours himself a glass of orange juice and grabs the ketchup.

Ted doles out the eggs, and look in askance at Xander's bottle of ketchup, "Are you really going to put that on eggs?"

"Yup," says Xander and proceeds to do so. After his first forkful of eggs, he asks Ted, "So, I'm pretty sure that someone else drove me over here last night?"

"That was Charlie, he had to go to work, but you're welcome to stay until he gets back. We have a pool and more food," says Ted, pushing eggs around his bowl.

"Does Charlie normally bring home random people?" Xander asks, still wondering if this wasn't going to end as well as it seemed.

"It's a thing," says Ted, and Xander's danger radar perks up. "This house is huge; it gets lonely without people in it. Charlie usually brings girls home. Where did he find you?"

"Some bar, I remember drinking. Lots of drinking," Xander shoves more food in his face.

"I figured that out when Charlie brought you home last night," says Ted.

"That bad?" Xander ruefully replies.

"Oh, yeah."

"So wait," Xander looks up at Ted, "You live here, too, right? Why is there no furniture?"

"I live over above the garage," explains Ted. "And the furniture, well, apparently furniture isn't Zen."

"Zen?"

"It's a thing," replies Ted as he takes Xander's empty bowl and sets it in the sink. "You're lucky I talked him into furnishing a guest room. Otherwise, you would have been in the bathtub last night."

"Thanks for that. If it's okay, I'll call a cab and go pick up my car at the bar," says Xander. He has a meeting with Willow later and not showing up would be a bad choice.

"I'll drive you. It's not a problem," says Ted. "Come on."

Ted's car is not as flashy as Charlie's, but not many people's are. The ride is mostly silent and the bar isn't far away. That is good because Xander's sunglasses are in his glove compartment and the sun is too bright for his hangover.

Ted pulls into the empty spot next to Xander's car with a little direction.

"Here," says Xander, having fished one of the cards that Willow had had made out of his wallet. "Tell Charlie I said thank you for the place to crash."

Ted nods, "See you around."

Xander flops into the car and drives off into the California sun.


End file.
